Leaning and Waiting

I've been explaining to many that I have pushed back my departure date from early November to late December. This is challenging for me on several levels. First, in good old American fashion, it's extending the time line which is difficult for my personality... Second, I want to be there. I know I'll miss so many people and things, but that doesn't change my desire. Third, I've just never been very good at waiting... and so, I wait!

A friend's blog reminded me today that there are lots of good things about waiting too. It is not a state of complacency, but a time of deliberateness. And, that one can actually accomplish a lot while you wait. I've moved, am going to move again. Have sold most of my possessions and boxed up those that remain. Have been through several language, mission and cross cultural trainings. Have met a ton of new people and now continue to invite people to be a part of what God is doing in Ukraine through financial partnership.

We wait for bread to raise. For yeast to work. And then for it to bake. It's well worth the wait.

Now I wait for God's continued provision, for open doors and His direction. And I rest, knowing that this too will be worth the wait!

It went so different in my head!

I had moved out of my house amazingly fast! Before I went to Ukraine for 2 weeks. There was one hitch. I kept 'stuff' in my office. The agreement was that I'd remove it 'when I got home'. Well, an afternoon here and a day there, turned into many, many hours of sorting through the mess that started there and then was only complicated when I added more 'stuff' from other areas in the house.

Finally! It is done. Everything is out. I brought a few things to my friends house to sort through. Today I was reading through old journals. I found the following written while I was in Mexico the summer of '99. I had just returned from a trip to Ukraine. It is so fun to look back and see how persistant God is and how involved He is in our lives. Let me share part of the entry:

From June 28, 1999 "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love just as Christ loved us and gave Himslf up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Ephesians 5:1-2

I need to share my heart today. I have said to many people since my cisit to Ukraine that I feel God has blessed me with 3 main ministries in my life: jr. high at Calvary, Ukraine and my job. Since my trip to Ukraine, I feel like many things have a sharper focus in my life. Often, I can't really explain it to people, but You are very real to me this month. I still do and say stupid things - but You are with me. You are tugging at my heart. I want to know how and why. I am seeking exactly what you want me to do. I don't want to take the easy road just because it's comfortable. I honestly and completely want to know what you wnat me to do. I am broken - emotionally, physically and spiritually! I know You desire a broken and contrite heart. I am waiting for Your direction... I need Your direction! Please guide me.

What is inspirational?

Tonight I am wondering about what is inspirational? I went with a couple friends to see Julie and Julia. For those who haven't seen it, the movie is based on a true story of a woman who is turning 30 who is frustrated with her state of life so she decides to cook her way through Julia Child's "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" in a year and blog each day about her experiences.

The movie also tells you the story of Julia Child and her husband while they live in France. She is concerned that she needs something to do, so she enrolls in French Cooking School. Obviously, this changes her life and it also impacts many others too.

As the movie was ending, I was thinking about Julia living in France and feeling like she had 'nothing to do'. And about the readers who followed Julie's blog for a year. So, this all begs the question: What/who inspires you? As I get ready to move to Ukraine, is my life inspirational to Ukrainians? To Americans that I talk with before I leave?

Cooking is wonderful. I love to cook! But, I pray that people are inspired through my life to see my creator...